Do Not Be Led By Your Emotions

"Feelings are like waves.  We can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf." - Jonatan Martensson

I woke up Tuesday morning and did NOT want to get out of bed.  I took Anna to school, came home and got right back under the covers.  There is an ice storm coming and it’s supposed to be pretty bad.  The thought of having to get out in this cold, rainy weather is torturous for me.  I’m frantically checking my phone for cancellations!  Dear God, please let them cancel!  I can sense my dread and then anger.  And then I thought:

Just like I can’t change the weather outside, I can’t change how I feel about it either.  HOWEVER, I am in control of my response to those feelings.  I can choose to stay under the covers until the very last second and then rush to class.  I can dwell on the fact that it’s cold and wet and gross outside.  Or I can think and act differently.  And in that moment, I threw the covers off, fixed some coffee and put a smile on my face....not because I FELT happy but because I refuse to be ruled by my emotions and quite frankly, it’s not all about me.  I would soon have a room full of students waiting on me to teach .  And I knew once I got there, in that warm room, with those sweet, dedicated folks, I would be just fine. 

I spent most of my life thinking I had no control over my emotions or my thoughts.  That’s a very scary place to be and honestly right where the devil wanted me.  You can be perfectly put together on the outside and there be chaos in your heart and in your head because you’re allowing every emotion and thought to toss you around like a rag doll.  

I know everyone struggles with this on some level, but for those of us who have been diagnosed with a mental illness such as: bipolar disorder, depression or anxiety, it requires a little more effort.  If this is where you are (whether you struggle a little or a lot!), decide right now to not be led by your emotions.  And then know that you can’t get it under control on your own.  I tried for years and I’m pretty determined; if it could be done, I would have done it.  You need to talk to God, the One who created you and every single one of those big beautiful emotions.  He says in John 16:33 "I have told you all this so that you will have PEACE in me.  You will have many trials on this Earth, but take heart, I have overcome the world."  If you are a Christ follower, you already have everything you need to manage your emotions and your thoughts.  All you have to do is ask and He will send you His Spirit and you will realize that you become aware of your reaction sooner than you used to.  You'll notice that you don't react as quickly or as harshly.  Because “the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.”  Galations 5:22.  Post these things on your wall, your mirror, everywhere as a reminder that you are in control of your feelings and thoughts, not the other way around!  

Namaste :)

What To Work On During Practice

     Tonight was a very special night for me.  I had a client come to her first hot yoga classt!!  I can't even tell you how proud I am that she even showed up.  And you know what? She did great....tight hamstrings and all!  I’m just beaming with pride, right?!  I looked over and asked several times if she was good and she smiled back.  There was a time when she dropped back into child’s pose, took a few deep breaths and then picked right back up.  For your first hot yoga class, dropping into child's pose once is awesome!  It gets up to 95 degrees in that room!  Having had the opportunity to introduce her to yoga and then witness her first yoga practice in a group setting, I’m so excited I can’t even focus on my own practice!!!  Before I know it, we’re bringing it down to the mat for savasana.  We rise...Namaste....class over.  

     I throw my head to the side, eyes wide and mouth open “So?!?!”  She responds, “That was so humiliating!  That was like high school athletics all over again.  I probably won’t ever come back.” My mouth fell open…”Say What?”  Was she not in the same class that I was in?!?  How could she not see how good she did?!?!  I was so confused.  Maybe I missed something....what I missed was everything going on in her head!  This was a great example of what we, as instructors do NOT want you to do in yoga but we, as practitioners, know this head trip is what we're really working on anyways.     

Here’s a list of what to work on during your practice. :)

• Get out of your head and into your body:  if you’ve ever taken yoga...Baptiste in particular, you’ve heard this saying.  “I’m the only one struggling....Why is this so freaking hard...Everyone can see me fumble around my mat...This is pointless....Holy crap I just fell....This is so embarrassing!”  <---- THAT is being all in your head.  When you recognize that’s where you are, deepen your breath and get back into your body.  Start with your feet and work your way up.  Tune in to how the pose makes you feel.  Where is there tension?  Where is there ease?  And when emotions or "stories" (i.e. high school athletics!) come up, just notice them.  You don't have to believe everything that pops into your head.  You also don't have to judge yourself for what does come up.  Just simply observe.  

• Be okay with where you are today:  You are different on different days.  Some days you need to go all out and some days you need to modify.  Either way, be okay.  

• Your pose is not going to look like her pose:  So get over it!!  Our bodies are different.  There are scientific terms like compression, where bone on bone hit and will not allow you to go as deep or as far as Susie Q over in the corner.  It doesn’t mean she’s better or you shouldn’t be here.  It’s like she forgot she had tight hamstrings and weak ankles.  

• What anyone else thinks about you is none of your business:  If you think anyone is judging your practice (which they probably aren’t, but maybe), remind yourself of this.

• Cut yourself some slack (every now and then):  It's just yoga.  So what if you can't stand on your head after 1 month??  This is a life long practice.  So sit back and chill out.  It's going to be a loooooong bumpy ride if you're already worrying about things you can't do.  And I'm not judging.  I deal with this too.  I've been practicing 5 years, I should be able to jump into crow…and land it….every single time.  But guess what, I don't.  Beating yourself up won't get you into the pose any faster.  So cut yourself some slack. (every now and then).    

Peace, Love & Namaste :)

Brutally Honest

Can you really be mad at someone for being 100% honest with you?   You know those people who seem to have no filter.  If you ask a question, you will get the truth whether you want to hear it or not:  Are people who are brutally honest just jerks or do they just not care what anyone else thinks about them?  Could it be the person on the receiving end of said honesty?  

Well I live with someone like that and it can be really funny when he’s being brutally honest about something or someone OTHER than you, his wife!  Now let me tell you a little bit about his wife:  I have some pretty thick skin.  I’m not “needy”.  I also have a strange sense of humor and it’s what attracts me most to my husband.  So on the surface, when I told my husband I ran seven miles, and he said that didn’t impress him, it was initially funny....and then I got pissed!  I had to go and get all in my head about it!  “Well your my husband and you SHOULD find that impressive....why doesn’t he support me....why can’t he just like running....he doesn’t like anything I do...wah wah wah!”

This is what us yoga teachers are talking about when we say “get out of your heads....”  I turned that one statement into something much more than it was.....and when I really think about it, he’s always hated running...long before I started!  He thinks it is the most pointless activity there is.  I actually caught him watching a race on tv one day and he was just sitting there shaking his head and said  “It almost angers me how stupid these people are.....look at ‘em, babe.....they’re just running.” So why would I take a statement like that personally?!?!  He was just being honest.  And, to give him credit, right after he said it, he looked me in the eye and said “I’m sorry.”  - like I’m really sorry I feel that way...and I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut!  

Taylor Swift has a song called All Too Well and in it she says “And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, So casually cruel in the name of being honest...”  And we listen to that and think, “What a jerk?!?”  How dare he tell her how he really feels!  We want honesty, but we get our feelings hurt when it’s not sugar coated or given in the way in which we think it should be.

My husband and I got into a “heated discussion” after I stewed a few weeks over his brutal honesty.  I learned that even though he could work on being a little more tactful in his words, that I could work on not taking things so personally.  To get out of my head and if my initial reaction is to laugh, then laugh and move on.  

He isn’t so much working on filtering his thoughts but being really honest in other areas:  like calling me beautiful (which  he says will stop the day I wake up ugly), and telling me how cool I am that I don’t hound him about going hunting.  And after our “discussion” he says, “Babe, we just need to not be so mean to each other....and by “we”, I mean “you” because I’m an ass hole to everyone.”  LOL  Gotta love him.  :)

What I learned in my 20s & why I'm embracing my 30s

September 25, 2013

1. Self-Development is key!  You have to want to be better...to do better.  Don’t think you already know it all!  So put the trashy novel down because you’re husband hasn’t given you enough affection and pick up a book on how to pray, how to be an effective leader; pick up a book on Dreaming BIG or how to learn Italian.  Never stop learning!
2. Embrace your body and share it with your husband....often!  It will make you a happier couple, not just because he’ll be happy....but I promise, you’ll be happier too.
3. Being emotional is OK!  Embrace it!  It means you have a big ole heart and you’re not afraid to let people see it.  So when someone says “You are so dramatic.”  Just say “Thank you.”  
4. Do NOT be led my those emotions!  Be emotional, but know that emotions and feelings come and go like the ocean’s tide.  Don’t be knocked around by them.  Stand firm in what is TRUE.  
5. Being rebellious is OK!  In my early mid teens to early 20s I was rebellious for all the wrong things.  But that rebellious personality is a God given trait...you just need to direct that energy to combat evil and to do good.  (Thank you Shannon)
6. When you believe in something, don’t let ANYONE tell you “I sure hope it works out that way for you.”  Use that aforesaid rebellious personality to prove them wrong. 
7. Do not underestimate the power of prayer.  Know that God adores you and wants to talk to you and wants good for you.  
8. Read the Bible and NEVER question what God’s will is for you.  It’s all right there.  I believe people use “If it’s God’s will” as an “out” in the event things don’t work out the way they hope.  You are too much in the future if you’re already thinking that way, so BE BOLD and claim those promises RIGHT NOW!  
9. When things are tough....dance.  Seriously, it doesn’t matter how pissed off or sad you are, if you put on some funky music and dance around like the free spirit you are, you will feel soooo much better.  AND it pisses the devil off and we rebels love to piss the bad guys off!  
10. Be humbly confident.  Drop the ego and get a full understanding of who you are and who you were created to be.  You gotta know how freaking awesome you are; yet how small you are all at the same time.  How insignificantly significant you are.  Once you grasp that, insecurities seem to melt away and you are FREE to be you.
11. You can only change you.  I repeat.....YOU can only change YOU! 
12. You are not responsible for anyone else’s way of being, actions, emotions, etc. That shhhhh is for the birds!  Decide right now not to take that on.  
13. Love is not enough to keep a marriage going.  There are certain skills a couple must learn to be successful in marriage.  Effective communication is #1!  
14. Do YOGA!
15. It’s not all about you....Say wha?!?!?!  I am the baby of 4 so this was a pretty hard pill to swallow!  Trust me, it’s not always easy, but I promise you’ll be much happier because of it.  
16. Know that you can choose your thoughts.  You can choose to think on certain things.  Once you realize where your thoughts have taken you, you can choose to stop thinking about it or continue.  Embrace the power in choosing your thoughts and choose wisely.  Your past does not define you.   
17. Take care of your body NOW!  Don’t wait until you have a “problem area.”  You have only one body, strengthen it, put good things into it and stop smoking.  
18. Have your children rate you as a parent from time to time.  Parents can really screw their kids up...unintentionally, of course, but screwed up nonetheless.  You may be doing something that will affect him/her for the rest of her life and not even know it, so every now and then ask them to rate you.  So far, my girls’ only complaint is that I don’t give them enough candy.  WINNING!!
19. If you’re angry at God, let him know.  He’s a big boy and can take anything you throw at him.  He appreciates your honesty.
20. Forget about trying to impress people and inspire them instead. 
21. Being pretty on the inside is WAY more important than being pretty on the outside

BONUS:  When your going through a hard time, surround yourself with people who are going to hold you accountable, people who aren’t just going to tell you what you want to hear, but people who are going to speak truth into your life.  

Thank you to all of my family and friends who held me accountable, prayed like crazy, spoke truth into my life, jerked a knot in my tail, supported me, ran with me, danced with me, cried with me and LOVED me.  

"Cool Yoga" Playlist

My Very First Yoga Playlist!!  Sounds silly, I know, but this is the playlist I used for my 90 minute YTT class.  It was so much fun!

Dave Matthews Band - Smooth Rider
Widespread Panic - Use Me
Joe Cocker - Feelin' Alright
Amos Lee - Street Corner Preacher
Rusted Root - You Can't Always Get What You Want
Led Zeppelin - Fool In the Rain
Widespread Panic - Dirty Side Down
Widespread Panic - Surprise Valley
Marc Broussard - Home
Ben Harper - How Many Miles Must We March?
Black Eyed Peas/Jack Johnson - Gone Going
Jack Johnson - Bubble Toes
The Beatles - Come Together
Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
Jack Johnson - Posters
Jack Johnson - Better Together
Jack Johnson - Good People
Matt Costa - Sweet Rose
The Allman Bros - Little Martha
Ben Harper - The Three of Us.